There’s something beautiful about coming to the end of your
self…
In the moments when you don’t know how to keep going.
The moments when you realize you’re not strong enough… when
you’ve finally reached a time in your life when for once you can’t even rely on
yourself to get you through the day.
You wake up and all you can do is pray “Lord I can’t do it.
I don’t know how. Give me the strength to get through the day”.
You find yourself anxiously awaiting sleep. Because you know
that with sleep will come a reprieve from the troubles of the day.
But then you wake up… and everything comes flooding back
again….
And AGAIN, you pray the SAME prayer.
You say the prayer because it’s your life line, because you
honestly don’t know how you’re going to make it through the pain, hurt, or
sorrow. Because you feel like you’re being swallowed whole.
Then you say the prayer because you know it’s the only
reason you’ve gotten this far. You feel numb and hopeless. And all you know is
that if you keep praying and trusting eventually maybe everything will suck
less.
Finally you say the prayer because you’re in awe. You
realize that Christ is the only reason you get through the hours, days, weeks
and months. You realize that you’re no longer reliant upon your own strength.
Because you’ve discovered your darkest, weakest, and lowest point. You’ve
watched sorrow, grief, fear and hurt invade your life. You sit and watch as a
life you never wanted becomes the life that you have been given.
But in the midst of the darkest of moments, you find Jesus…
You find Jesus.
Not the stereotypical Sunday school answer “Jesus”…
But the battered, bruised and crucified Jesus. The real. Jesus.
Not the typical image of perfection.
But the man who came to abolish the confines of religion.
The man who came to fellowship with beggars, thieves, liars, prostitutes, etc.
The man who redefined what it means to be a Christian. Who
was born a normal birth, who lived a normal human life, who experienced grief,
anxiety, and hardships.
You find Jesus with arms open. Whispering “I will carry
you”.
You finally fall into his arms. Crying “I need YOU.”
And he knows. He’s been waiting. Waiting for you to give up.
Waiting for you to stop trying to be perfect… Waiting for you to fall on your knees
in complete exhaustion. Because he wants
you.
He wants to carry
you.
What a beautiful Savior,
who humbles himself to carry us. To care for us.
What a beautiful savior who enters into the darkness to find
us. To walk with us.
We have a beautiful savior who meets us in the darkness
providing a peace that only he can provide.
Life is broken. WE
are broken. But if the brokenness serves as a constant reminder of our need for
the cross-of the beauty that emerges from suffering… Then I hope that we always
struggle with brokenness.
