Junior Year has been an incredible year. A year full of joy, happiness, laughter, community, grace, friendships and vulnerability. When I entered the beginning of Junior year I was coming back to a campus I hardly knew. I had lost friends, a boyfriend and even myself. I was anything but excited to come back to a future that seemed hopeless. I was starting over, again. As the semester began I was anxious and lonely, wondering if I would ever enjoy my college experience again.
Slowly each day I forced myself to remain positive, attempting to give Christ my brokenness, sadness, and loneliness (which is easier said than done). Soon, weeks had passed and somehow I was surviving. The first semester was coming to a close and somehow, I had friends. By the time I returned second semester I realized I was learning what joy was like again... I began to know what the Joy of the Lord was.
Through an awful, miserable sophomore year my God brought joy, beauty and grace. I came back to school wondering how I'd survive, and somehow I ended up prospering. My grades took off, I found some of the most Godly, amazing people, and am confident in who I am as woman of God once again.
The hardest part in the process was trusting Christ to do what seemed to be the impossible. I knew where I wanted my life to be, but I couldn't seem to get there. It seemed like it would take forever to move forward. All I needed to move forward was to acknowledge my weakness. I would have thought that admitting my weakness once would be enough, but Christ doesn't think the same way. He wants me to hand every hardship, desire and dream to him repeatedly, day in and day out.
Eventually he turned my sorrow into dancing and I am now filled with a joy that is hard to shake. For my God has come to my rescue and renewed my spirit. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Through darkness, through great pain, and through immense loneliness, God is constant. I know that my desires may not be what the Lord has for me, for his plans are far better than anything I could ever dream up.
For now I can freely say"It is well with my soul" wether in times of great joy or times of sorrow. For my God will fight for me, I need only to be still.
